With changing seasons, moments and situations, life moves on. Much like, the arrival of dark clouds then followed by heavy rains, at times, life seems hard and happiness feels like a distant dream lost in the everyday noise, but then from somewhere in the crevice of the sky, comes along the Sun, with its rays shining brighter than ever, radiating through the last drop of water falling off the leaf, and there it was - you find yourself mesmerised by one of nature's most breathtaking phenomena: a vibrant rainbow, and you realise that sometimes, the most extraordinary beauty can emerge from the simplest moments and just like that, Life moves on. Time keeps moving, the clock keeps ticking.
Since 2021, after I wrote my last post, I was finding it hard to write as it didn't seem to fulfil a purpose. It felt like my writings are like a shout in the void, a mere shot at entertaining my own sense of purpose, without making a real difference in the world. I felt like no one would notice even if I stop writing, it won't change a thing in the world, like my posts were just flowing like the water from a fall, pleasing to the eye but serving no purpose.
However, the voice in me kept telling me to come back and pick things up right where I left off. Because even if the water from the fall doesn't seems like much, it adds to the river and days and months later forms the mighty ocean.
The year was 2021. I was volunteering at Hunter Medical Research Institute while studying at the University of New Castle. It was my first year studying Biomedical Science. Life was sailing along just fine. Working at the HMRI, I was constantly learning new things and realising that the world is just more than my oyster and there are a lot of things that I do not know but I was willing to learn. I used to help around the medical lab, assisting the experts, making myself useful for the medical research world.
One of the interesting projects I worked on was focused on finding biomarkers in blood to help determine the occurrence of still birth in a full term or more than 40 weeks pregnancy.
For the folks who are not familiar with the biology terms, the process would include testing a pregnant woman's blood for indicators. As just as the warning lights in a car would light up indicating that something is wrong with the engine, there are indicators present in a blood sample, which can indicate if there are complications that could be anticipated with a pregnancy.
I know someone personally who lost a full term pregnancy, ending with a still-birth.
The opportunity to work on the project was more than just professional, it was personal.
A part in me felt like it was fate that bought me to this project.
I shared my personal experience with my supervisor at the time. My experience resonated with him and he shared similar experiences from his life as well. Pregnancy complications are more common than we realise and more real than we think.
If you look around, you will find women who have lost their children to complications or within close proximity to the birth because of pregnancy related disorders. The fact that these problems exist calls for research work to be conducted, so hopefully there comes a time when no mother has to lose their kid but just as the problem is real, so are the hurdles for the medical research.
Health care research comes with its own set of challenges. The researchers work endlessly towards a goal in hope for achieving something for the world. The pressure is high and the compensation, nowhere near lucrative. The whole medical research system works based on financial grants. Government units, big pharmaceutical companies and philanthropists provide financial support to the research teams in the form of grants. These grants help the research team with their work, if there is one achievable at all.
Over the years, I have harboured deep respect and admiration for all the researchers and people who form the part of research teams. The world we see today is a much healthier place because of the silent endless efforts of these talented teams and individuals, who believed in their vision of the future, even when no one else did, and they had the will to work towards making it a reality. More than the achievement, the motive behind the works is what instills respect for them. They do not do it because it's financially rewarding, but it's just good for the greater science, society and the world.
I enjoyed my time working at the HMRI right up until my final semester exams. The exams went fine and afterwards, I was looking for the way ahead. I spoke to some of my professors at the university about work experience opportunities. One of my professors suggested that Clinical Trial management is also a career option for Biomedical Science graduates. There it was - the turning point in my journey.
I realised that I have been on a Medtronic insulin pump and a Continuous Glucose Monitor for years now, and the fact that a device exists that could externally monitor and correct your blood sugar was nothing less than magic. It was my pump that helped me get on top of my Diabetes everyday, to come out on the other side of my illness struggles day in and day out. If there was a chance, I could be a part of the teams involved in the works of these treatments, medications and medical devices, that's exactly what I'd like to do!
The mere prospect of helping someone like me whose looking for a light at the end of the tunnel, just filled me with a sense of purpose and in that moment, a manifestation was incepted. I had made up my mind for getting into the Clinical Trials field, to be a part of something bigger than myself.
The following weeks included a lot of networking, getting in touch with my teaching teams, along with anyone even remotely related to the medical research industry field in the Newcastle area. A couple weeks down the line, my professor suggested that since I already had some experience working in the Hunter Medical Research Institute, I should try approaching them again to check if I could be useful to the team.
He was kind enough to introduce me to the Clinical trials team at the institute. The lady who was my point of contact at HMRI gave me couple of email addresses that I could write to, and ask for any work experience opportunity, which I did and couple of weeks later I heard back from one of them offering me a position to learn. I was on cloud nine.
In a bold display of financial independence, I blew my budget on a wardrobe overhaul and now I'm eating ramen noodles for the next month. By this time, I had put on some extra kilos, so shopping catalogue was according to my new figure. My excitement grew as the day approached.
Finally on day-one, I put on my new threads and there it was, the million dollar question, staring me in the face, where should I place my pump?
Any fellow Diabetics, who use a pump would definitely understand what I am talking about. For my friends who are not diabetic, imagine you are getting dressed up, and you have to find a place to keep your phone. The slight difference is that it's just a bit smaller than the average phone, a bit thicker, and your life depends on it. There's a tube that goes from the pump to the delivery site, which is the place you've inserted the needle in, for this week, so the pump could push enough insulin and keep me alive.
Although grateful for the technological marvel, I couldn't help but think like a typical human: "Can't they just make it smaller and more compact? You know, like a smartphone, but without the smart people designing it."
As I gazed at the device, I swore I saw a team of wild-haired, Einstein-esque researchers staring back at me, their faces etched with a mix of confusion and disdain, as if thinking, "You want us to miniaturise this? Have you seen the complexity of the CGM!"
I shrugged off my thought cloud and drove in to work and I was a kid in the candy store. Doing just the regular stuff felt amazing. Every task, every instruction every entry was driving me one step closer towards following my purpose. I was exhilarated and the and my face was radiating with the feeling to the point where my supervisor, asked me why was I so happy while just filling out paperwork. I just smiled at her, knowing in my head that this is the day one that leads to one day. I was looking for a rainbow and now I was actually looking at one.
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